Broken Love
by sharingstories2
Summary: "Did you ever love me?" Morgana desperately wanted to say no, to spare him as he had tried to do for her many a times but she was far to selfish.
1. Chapter 1

Their relationship had always been odd. Kissing in dark abandoned corridors, claiming that their feelings were nothing romantic when it was obvious they were head over heels for each other. Merlin remembered fondly the first time he confessed his need to kiss her, she pinned him up against a wall and kissed him till he had no breath left. Despite their intimate moments they never claimed that they loved one another. They couldn't.

When Morgana turned dark no one could figure out why he of all people was so upset, he couldn't tell them he was in more-than-friendship-yet-not-a-relationship with the king's ward. He valued a portion of his life.

When Morgana had ordered Morgause and her men that under no circumstances was Merlin to be hurt or killed nobody understood why. She couldn't tell them that she had loved him.

When Arthur took back the kingdom Morgana still sought Merlin sometimes and they would share a night together. She showed him her old self, the one that thought everyone was equal. Yet Morgana would wipe away Merlin's memories of that night, he would think it was nothing but a dream.

Merlin understood that Morgana thought that she was right and if he wasn't so loyal to Arthur he would join her, perhaps guide her into a safer way to unite magic. Yet as he stood over her, staff drawn he knew this was the way things had to be. Yet he had only one question.  
"Did you ever love me?" Morgana desperately wanted to say no, to spare him as he had tried to do for her many a times but she was far to selfish.  
"I never stopped Merlin" she saw hope flicker and disappear in his eyes, he lunched the staff into her, watching as the life drained from her eyes.  
"I'm sorry Morgana" he knelt next to her lifeless body and kissed her ever so gently on the lips, then closed her eyes. Arthur stared at his manservant in shock, he walked over, anger burning but stopped when he saw Merlin's lifeless eyes.  
"I'm sorry Arthur, I know you think I betrayed you but I never wanted the magic, I was born with it and Morgana…. Let's just say I can't explain that. I loved her but I never betrayed you so go ahead kill me but I never wanted this." When he didn't answer Merlin turned to walk away. Arthur looked between the battlefield and Morgana before running to the younger boy.  
"Merlin, you choose Camelot over your own desire, you choose me over Morgana. I…. I can't punish you for that" Merlin said nothing but dropped to his knees. Tears streamed down his face and he screamed, magic flowed from him, ebbing over every inch of the field, Arthur brought Merlin into a hug and the magic flowed backwards as Merlin sobbed.  
"I'm sorry" Arthur said nothing.  
"I loved her" Merlin added and Arthur looked up at the sky.  
"I know" he replied.  
"I loved her and she never knew it"


	2. Dear readers

Dear readers.

This is to address something that quite a few people have noticed, whether you have only read this story or others you may have noticed that a lot of my stories carry dark themes such as

· Suicide

· Mental illness

· Rape

· Abuse (of any kind)

· Self-harm

So I feel the need to stress this and I need your help. If you have read any of my stories and they have triggers, even if the trigger seems really remote could you please leave a review or private message, as much as the stories I write are for the reader's enjoyment sometimes they can be very triggering. Thank you.

That is not the reason I have written this note. I am here today to tell everyone that they are worth it, even if you don't believe it, I do. You are all stronger than what ails you and what ails you can be defeated, I believe that everyone has an inner battle inside them but you can survive. If you are experiencing anything, whether it be mental illness or you have been through a traumatic experience, hell even if you just feel sad or upset it is okay to get help. It is okay. I understand this is scary and it could mean that you will have to experience changes that you are not ready for but it will all be worth it. You can get there.

I want to wish everyone reading this all the happiness in the world, you deserve it. Remember you all have beautiful souls and its okay to feel sad and alone or whatever you are feeling. I want you to know that even if you feel like no one believes in you, I do.

Thank you all, I hope you all find happiness and joy in your lives.

\- Sharingstories2


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